Friday, October 5, 2007

GAY BOMB, CURE FOR HAMSTER JET LAG WIN IG NOBEL PRIZES

BBC - Pioneering research into a "gay bomb" that makes enemy troops "sexually irresistible" to each other has scooped one of this year's Ig Nobel Prizes.

Other winners included work on treating hamster jetlag with impotency drugs, extracting vanilla from cow dung, and the side-effects of sword swallowing.

The awards, founded in 1991, mark achievements that "first make people laugh, and then make them think. . .

Genuine Nobel Laureates handed out the much-coveted awards to the winners, who took away no cash, but instead received a hand-made prize, a certificate, and, of course, the glory of such an illustrious win.

Dan Meyer, executive director of Sword Swallowing Association International and an author of the British Medical Journal paper Sword Swallowing and its Side-Effects, told the BBC News website that the study revealed that when professional sword swallowers ingested a single sword very carefully, it did not do much harm, but swallowing many swords, strangely shaped blades, or being distracted when swallowing, could cause injury. The findings also suggested that sword swallowers should not swallow swords if they already had a sore throat, he said.

Unfortunately, said the organizers, nobody from the US military who carried out the research on chemicals that could prompt homosexual dalliances amongst rival troops (a research project called Harassing, Annoying and "Bad Guy" Identifying Chemicals) attended the ceremony because the study's authors could not be tracked down.

The Ig Nobel Prizes were created by the Annals of Improbable Research, a science magazine.

Other winners:

Physics - A US-Chile team who ironed out the problem of how sheets become wrinkled.

Linguistics - A University of Barcelona team for showing that rats are unable to tell the difference between a person speaking Japanese backwards and somebody speaking Dutch backwards.

Literature - Glenda Browne of Blue Mountains, Australia, for her study of the word "the", and how it can flummox those trying to put things into alphabetical order.

2 Comments:

At October 5, 2007 5:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd think making enemy troops sexually irresistible to one another would probably backfire; after all, you're going to be motivated to fight that much harder to protect a lover. The Spartans knew this very well, and actively encouraged homosexual lovers among their fighters. Seemed to work pretty well for them too, if history is any guide.

 
At October 9, 2007 8:54 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The military's idea is that once the drug wore off, they would be totally repulsed by the "evil" acts they had committed and would either kill themselves or be so demoralized they wouldn't be able to fight.

By the way, the idea isn't to magically rewire their DNA to turn them gay, it's just to make them so horny they will immediately rape whoever is nearby. Come to think of it, a bunch of guys with guns all trying to be the rapist rather than the rapee would probably kill off quite a few of the enemy.

 

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